I decided to come out of lurk mode and read a few blogs and then post. Reading back on my last blog I am so happy that I have finished that term. I am sure this next one will be brutal but it will be the last one.
Not happy that my weight has stayed the same despite me doing the right things. My face does look a bit slimmer but why is the number on the scale so high?
Not happy with my current job choices. I need to make more than 10 bucks an hour especially since I will have 2 degrees but that just has been making me overqualified.
I was pretty depressed and slept some and have been focusing on other things since stressing will do me no good.
Hope things get better for me. I have a feeling that if I was thinner then I would get the better jobs and then get to live the better lifestyle. But the odds aren't in my favor right now for whatever reason.
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
A Quickie
Hi everyone!
I have missed you all so much! I decided to take a hiatus from most things internet and focus more on my school work. I have completed all but two assignments and the end of the term is Friday:) Yah!
Weight loss has been stuck! I have been wavering between 201-203.I have tried lowering my calories then I read that I should not be eating that low of calories. So I have slowly been eating more as suggested by a dietican- 1400-1700 calories. Truth is that I am less hungrier which makes it less likely to binge, but I have a full chin again and the scale is 2 lbs higher. I do not like seeing these changes even though they say that the extra weight will balance out and I will start losing again. But when? What if they are wrong? What if my body gets used to the calories and I start feeling hungrier? I am on TOM, but I have a feeling that I am heavier because of the increased calories. I am exercising still and planning meals and happy that those habit have stuck with me. Just not sure if eating this many calories is going to help me in the long run or if it is just ED talking.
I hope everyone is well. I will be checking in on you guys soon after all my work is turned in.
Bye beautiful ones:)
I have missed you all so much! I decided to take a hiatus from most things internet and focus more on my school work. I have completed all but two assignments and the end of the term is Friday:) Yah!
Weight loss has been stuck! I have been wavering between 201-203.I have tried lowering my calories then I read that I should not be eating that low of calories. So I have slowly been eating more as suggested by a dietican- 1400-1700 calories. Truth is that I am less hungrier which makes it less likely to binge, but I have a full chin again and the scale is 2 lbs higher. I do not like seeing these changes even though they say that the extra weight will balance out and I will start losing again. But when? What if they are wrong? What if my body gets used to the calories and I start feeling hungrier? I am on TOM, but I have a feeling that I am heavier because of the increased calories. I am exercising still and planning meals and happy that those habit have stuck with me. Just not sure if eating this many calories is going to help me in the long run or if it is just ED talking.
I hope everyone is well. I will be checking in on you guys soon after all my work is turned in.
Bye beautiful ones:)
Saturday, February 4, 2012
I gotta feelin'
Hi all,
I hope everyone is feeling good. Thanks for all who gave me encouragement, it truly has helped. I have been feeling better mainly because TOM is gone. I hate how it can get me so down, but I will try to keep myself in check next month. So I did have a bit of a gain due to the binge fest I had, but I am back down to 202.4. I feel better enough to exercise almost everyday again and keeping my calories at my designated intake.
In other news, I have been reading a book called, "Brain over Binge" and it has helped me look at bingeing in a different way. Before the book, I was working on my urges and had gotten pretty far. Not sure why but TOM made me feel wacky which gave me the excuse to binge for a couple of days. But the urges were not as intense as they had been in the past. I can honestly say the book has helped me alleviate anxiety about eating and I feel that I am on the road to recovery. I never thought a book would help, but it has. There are several parallels between the writer and myself which made me relate to her. Now there are some huge differences- she ate way more calories than I have eaten in a sitting and she would make it up with countless hours of exercise. That was her form of binge/purge.
I have learned to eat and move on, not fight the urges and to not give the urges any of my time. I learned that I am not overeating because I have depression, low self-esteem, anxiety. I binged because it became a habit. I have broken habits before and yes they take some work to break, but they can be broken. I feel good knowing that this urge taking over my body can be stopped. The name of the author is in my reading list.
I made brownies the other day (my constant quest to fatten up the boyfriend, plus I just love to bake) and I have only had two. One small- out of the oven- piece and one the next day. And guess what? There are 18 more or so left and I know that I won't be going wild over them.
Have a great week-end:)
I hope everyone is feeling good. Thanks for all who gave me encouragement, it truly has helped. I have been feeling better mainly because TOM is gone. I hate how it can get me so down, but I will try to keep myself in check next month. So I did have a bit of a gain due to the binge fest I had, but I am back down to 202.4. I feel better enough to exercise almost everyday again and keeping my calories at my designated intake.
In other news, I have been reading a book called, "Brain over Binge" and it has helped me look at bingeing in a different way. Before the book, I was working on my urges and had gotten pretty far. Not sure why but TOM made me feel wacky which gave me the excuse to binge for a couple of days. But the urges were not as intense as they had been in the past. I can honestly say the book has helped me alleviate anxiety about eating and I feel that I am on the road to recovery. I never thought a book would help, but it has. There are several parallels between the writer and myself which made me relate to her. Now there are some huge differences- she ate way more calories than I have eaten in a sitting and she would make it up with countless hours of exercise. That was her form of binge/purge.
I have learned to eat and move on, not fight the urges and to not give the urges any of my time. I learned that I am not overeating because I have depression, low self-esteem, anxiety. I binged because it became a habit. I have broken habits before and yes they take some work to break, but they can be broken. I feel good knowing that this urge taking over my body can be stopped. The name of the author is in my reading list.
I made brownies the other day (my constant quest to fatten up the boyfriend, plus I just love to bake) and I have only had two. One small- out of the oven- piece and one the next day. And guess what? There are 18 more or so left and I know that I won't be going wild over them.
Have a great week-end:)
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Too much
Hey all,
I have been very depressed lately. It looks like quite a few of us have been, maybe its the SAD (seasonal affective disorder). Who knows? Anyway, I have eaten too much this last couple of days. It is hard to stop once you start. I have been feeling this way mainly because of TOM and feeling sorry for myself. I have been exercising but not enough to cancel out all of the food eaten. I hope to brush myself off and start a new tomorrow. I better get back in gear or I might see a gain that I do not want to see. I was 202.2 a few days ago, I hope to stay at that or get back to that- I haven't weighed in lately- by next week. I must say that my last post was the most positive one, but had the least amount of comments, lol. It reminds me that this is being done for me:)
Take care all...
I have been very depressed lately. It looks like quite a few of us have been, maybe its the SAD (seasonal affective disorder). Who knows? Anyway, I have eaten too much this last couple of days. It is hard to stop once you start. I have been feeling this way mainly because of TOM and feeling sorry for myself. I have been exercising but not enough to cancel out all of the food eaten. I hope to brush myself off and start a new tomorrow. I better get back in gear or I might see a gain that I do not want to see. I was 202.2 a few days ago, I hope to stay at that or get back to that- I haven't weighed in lately- by next week. I must say that my last post was the most positive one, but had the least amount of comments, lol. It reminds me that this is being done for me:)
Take care all...
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
204??
Hi everybody,
I have been out of the loop as far as blogging goes. I have been doing everything but blogging and writing my papers. So now I am blogging and guess what still needs to be done? You're right, those damn papers. I have totally lost my motivation for school but gained some in treating my body better. I cannot wait till I graduate to that I can stop feeling too stressed about class, papers, dumb teachers-who don't grade your papers on time, but oh they want you to turn in your s%^$ on time, etc.
Anyway anyone ever heard of loom knitting? It's so much fun! Faster than crocheting and great for those who cannot sew (on my life long learning list). I have made a scarf and will make more for friends and family and then move on to the other things that you can do with it.
I went on the scale and it has been 204 or 203.8. I don't know how long that will last since TOM is coming and I have been craving and caving in. And I feel so tired. Bleh. I don't get cramps but I fatigue so easily during this time. O.K. enough complaining.
I have read some folks blogs and they aren't doing so well so let's all send hugs to them...
Big hugs to Sasha and Sammy. Keep your heads up.
Now pics of things that don't have anything to do with food, weight loss, etc. Sometimes we all need a break.
My kitty loving the view.
First scarf made on the loom.
I have been out of the loop as far as blogging goes. I have been doing everything but blogging and writing my papers. So now I am blogging and guess what still needs to be done? You're right, those damn papers. I have totally lost my motivation for school but gained some in treating my body better. I cannot wait till I graduate to that I can stop feeling too stressed about class, papers, dumb teachers-who don't grade your papers on time, but oh they want you to turn in your s%^$ on time, etc.
Anyway anyone ever heard of loom knitting? It's so much fun! Faster than crocheting and great for those who cannot sew (on my life long learning list). I have made a scarf and will make more for friends and family and then move on to the other things that you can do with it.
I went on the scale and it has been 204 or 203.8. I don't know how long that will last since TOM is coming and I have been craving and caving in. And I feel so tired. Bleh. I don't get cramps but I fatigue so easily during this time. O.K. enough complaining.
I have read some folks blogs and they aren't doing so well so let's all send hugs to them...
Big hugs to Sasha and Sammy. Keep your heads up.
Now pics of things that don't have anything to do with food, weight loss, etc. Sometimes we all need a break.
My kitty loving the view. 
First scarf made on the loom.Have a great week everyone:)
Thursday, January 19, 2012
205
Hi everyone,
Whoo hoo my weight was 205, 204.8, 204.2- scale is a little wacky sometimes so I use the highest weight when it acts like this. Happy to finally see some results. I am making a weight loss jar and am putting in a $1 for every pound loss. When I reach my goal weight I will spend it on something...what I don't know, but since a girl loves to shop this is great incentive. Also thinking about this hip tattoo that I said I would get when I hit 150- maybe I will wait till I reach goal and spend the money on that. That's a- ways away so I will not try to think about it too hard.
Hello new folks following the blog! Welcome and I am here for you for encouragement.
Oh and I have another big whoop. Since I have started my own version of the HSGD I have not binged.
So two days binge free for me, such a great feeling:)
I have been behind on my blog reading due to that hell called grad school, but will catch up with everybody in the next couple of days.
Have a great night!
Whoo hoo my weight was 205, 204.8, 204.2- scale is a little wacky sometimes so I use the highest weight when it acts like this. Happy to finally see some results. I am making a weight loss jar and am putting in a $1 for every pound loss. When I reach my goal weight I will spend it on something...what I don't know, but since a girl loves to shop this is great incentive. Also thinking about this hip tattoo that I said I would get when I hit 150- maybe I will wait till I reach goal and spend the money on that. That's a- ways away so I will not try to think about it too hard.
Hello new folks following the blog! Welcome and I am here for you for encouragement.
Oh and I have another big whoop. Since I have started my own version of the HSGD I have not binged.
So two days binge free for me, such a great feeling:)
I have been behind on my blog reading due to that hell called grad school, but will catch up with everybody in the next couple of days.
Have a great night!
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Sticking to it...for the most part
Hi all,
I am kind of proud of myself for the last week. My goals were as follows:
Goals for this week:
Drink 80 oz water each day
Get up a 1/2 hour earlier
Work out 6 days this week
Do not go over 450 calories on dinner, the rest of the meals 200 calories
Snack on fruits and veggies only.
I did great on the water thing until I looked so bloated I could cry.
I got up a 1/2 hour earlier, maybe 4 days this week. Has some insomnia troubles that caused me to wake up at 4:30AM a couple of times and not go back to sleep till the time I was supposed to get up, so annoying.
I worked out six days!
I didn't go over 450 calories for dinner, but I had goodies after dinner. Whoops.
I snacked on a mix of fruits, veggies and stuff that I rather not classify but it wasn't in excess like I normally do.
I decided to try those HGC drops just for kicks I guess and the minute after taking them I was so sick. I actually puked up breakfast. What the hell is in those? Did I get a bad batch? Of course I would get a bad batch because I have such good luck;)
So I threw them away because I felt sick for hours afterwards.
I am staying on my schedule for the most part, but dodging papers that I need to write (Tumblr is much more interesting) hopefully I get some motivation to write at least one of the two that is due this week.
I wrote out my food schedule for the week and got most of the things needed for the recipes that I will use. This is week three for me on completing a food plan for the week, and I feel like my old organized self doing it. Let's see if I see a change in weight with it.
Goals for this week:
Drink 80 oz water each day- try this again or cover all mirrors.
Get up a 1/2 hour earlier- which means trying to go to bed earlier- Bleh
Work out 6 days this week for 45 minutes-1 hour.- my kickass playlist is helping with this
Do not go over 450 calories on dinner, the rest of the meals 200- 300 calories- food plan should help
Snack on fruits and veggies only. -Have some restraint girl!or stop baking those delicious cookies to fatten up the boyfriend with. I did use low fat alternatives, though.
Do not weigh everyday- I chose not to weigh this weekend. Will shoot for every other day.
Remember to take vitamins twice a day
Have 4 kinds of fruits or veggies a day.
Well that's all for now. I hope everyone is doing A-O.K.
I-ma-do-it-2012
I am kind of proud of myself for the last week. My goals were as follows:
Goals for this week:
Drink 80 oz water each day
Get up a 1/2 hour earlier
Work out 6 days this week
Do not go over 450 calories on dinner, the rest of the meals 200 calories
Snack on fruits and veggies only.
I did great on the water thing until I looked so bloated I could cry.
I got up a 1/2 hour earlier, maybe 4 days this week. Has some insomnia troubles that caused me to wake up at 4:30AM a couple of times and not go back to sleep till the time I was supposed to get up, so annoying.
I worked out six days!
I didn't go over 450 calories for dinner, but I had goodies after dinner. Whoops.
I snacked on a mix of fruits, veggies and stuff that I rather not classify but it wasn't in excess like I normally do.
I decided to try those HGC drops just for kicks I guess and the minute after taking them I was so sick. I actually puked up breakfast. What the hell is in those? Did I get a bad batch? Of course I would get a bad batch because I have such good luck;)
So I threw them away because I felt sick for hours afterwards.
I am staying on my schedule for the most part, but dodging papers that I need to write (Tumblr is much more interesting) hopefully I get some motivation to write at least one of the two that is due this week.
I wrote out my food schedule for the week and got most of the things needed for the recipes that I will use. This is week three for me on completing a food plan for the week, and I feel like my old organized self doing it. Let's see if I see a change in weight with it.
Goals for this week:
Drink 80 oz water each day- try this again or cover all mirrors.
Get up a 1/2 hour earlier- which means trying to go to bed earlier- Bleh
Work out 6 days this week for 45 minutes-1 hour.- my kickass playlist is helping with this
Do not go over 450 calories on dinner, the rest of the meals 200- 300 calories- food plan should help
Snack on fruits and veggies only. -Have some restraint girl!
Do not weigh everyday- I chose not to weigh this weekend. Will shoot for every other day.
Remember to take vitamins twice a day
Have 4 kinds of fruits or veggies a day.
Well that's all for now. I hope everyone is doing A-O.K.
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