I gotta feelin'

Hi all,

I hope everyone is feeling good. Thanks for all who gave me encouragement, it truly has helped. I have been feeling better mainly because TOM is gone. I hate how it can get me so down, but I will try to keep myself in check next month. So I did have a bit of a gain due to the binge fest I had, but I am back down to 202.4. I feel better enough to exercise almost everyday again and keeping my calories at my designated intake.
In other news, I have been reading a book called, "Brain over Binge" and it has helped me look at bingeing in a different way. Before the book, I was working on my urges and had gotten pretty far. Not sure why but TOM made me feel wacky which gave me the excuse to binge for a couple of days. But the urges were not as intense as they had been in the past. I can honestly say the book has helped me alleviate anxiety about eating and I feel that I am on the road to recovery. I never thought a book would help, but it has. There are several parallels between the writer and myself which made me relate to her. Now there are some huge differences- she ate way more calories than I have eaten in a sitting and she would make it up with countless hours of exercise. That was her form of binge/purge.
I have learned to eat and move on, not fight the urges and to not give the urges any of my time. I learned that  I am not overeating because I have depression, low self-esteem, anxiety. I binged because it became a habit. I have broken habits before and yes they take some work to break, but they can  be broken. I feel good knowing that this urge taking over my body can be stopped. The name of the author is in my reading list.
I made brownies the other day (my constant quest to fatten up the boyfriend, plus I just love to bake) and I have only had two. One small- out of the oven- piece and one the next day. And guess what? There are 18 more or so left and I know that I won't be going wild over them.

Have a great week-end:)