It's Sinking in

I hope everyone is doing well:

I thank Sam and Princess P for their advice and Sasha for setting the scene for lists one can stick to. You all are such beautiful people.

It is sinking in that I need to have a routine/schedule. It is something that I always fight but know that I should do. Between school, work, exercise, diet and boyfriend I have a full plate - pun intended and need to stay on track- ooh another pun.
Not eating on a schedule lets me slip in un-needed calories.
I printed out the SGD and will follow that for at least a month and take it from there. I printed out an exercise schedule. I will chart what I accomplished that day in exercise.

What I need to do
I will not eat over 900 calories.
I will exercise at least 5 days a week for 30 minutes.
I will drink at least 100 oz of fluids a day. (water, tea, carbonated water)
I will be more diligent in recording my food intake and exercise.
I will spend 15-20 writing in my Thinspo Journal.
I will spend 30 min. blogging and 15 minutes, looking at other blogs/responding and looking at Thinspo.
And the big one is
I will post food and exercise intake to hold me accountable.

I think all can help me towards my goals. I will just keep looking at my mini goals instead of the overall picture. Looking at everything at one time makes me feel overwhelmed and anxious which can cause me to binge. Blech.

That's all I got for now... need to make schedules. Take care bellas!

Mucho besos :)

Today
B- 3/4 cup Oatmeal with splash of almond milk  - 300 - kind of high for SGD, will do better
L-
D-

Excercise- (198)  30 min. on treadmill

Water Fasting

Hey all,

Been thinking of fasting the New Year in and seeing how far I can go with it. Been on YouTube to get some fasting Inspiration.
I want to fast because I just can't seem to shake the anxiety of overeating. It's like a game I am playing with my body---"let's see how much of this I can eat before such and such."  I don't understand why because when I was younger and was anxious I would eat less. Maybe hormones switched and now I have desensed my body from eating too much. I am lucky that I like to exercise or my weight would be much higher from eating this way. And I don't do it all of the time, but the times I do is enough.
I will do the water fast starting tomorrow. I will be busy tomorrow since I will be getting my hair done, so that will keep my mind off of food.
I had a nice pants expanding two days, but now it is time to stop. I will tell boyfriend about the fast since we live together and he will have to put up with my hunger moods and me not wanting to cook due to smell of food. :)
I may not get that moody. In the past not eating and cooking actually helps me not want to eat.

Any tips?

Happy Holidays to Everyone!

I love cats :)

It's been ten days_WTH

Hey there,

I can't believe that it has been ten days since I last blogged. The holidays are making me lazy but not with exercise. My treadmill got shipped the other day:) It took me two hours to put it together. At first I was intimidated about putting it together by myself. But I am a stubborn and persistent Capricorn/Scorpio and finished it. Pics coming soon. My first workout on it was this morning. And I was breathing hard, I used to be so in shape, what the- h happened?
I was hoping to be 199 by New Years's but highly doubt that I can lose that much weight in that little of time.
I did lose an additional two pounds since last posting. Yah! I am frustrated that my weight loss is sooo slow. After a couple of higher cal days the weight finally came down a bit. I will keep this up even if it is two pounds every 10 days.Grunt.  I read one girl's blog that she lost 45 pounds in a month. What was she doing? Not eating but exercising all day? 1) I do not have the time to exercise all day and 2) when I do exercise I am hungrier. Argg.
I hope everyone is not stressing too much over the Holiday and are being safe.
And remember those Christmas cookies will be around next Christmas, do you want that extra 10 pounds to be there with you next Christmas too?

Ciao for now

Black Girl Thinspo

I love thinspo of all colors, but find it even more motivating to see thinspo that looks like me, especially short ones :) Therefore I will have some thinspos of African American, Black, Hatian, Jamaican and so on. I also like posting people that folks have forgot about.
My first BGT is Dominique Dawes.

Dominique Margaux Dawes (born November 20, 1976, in Silver Spring, Maryland) is a retired United States artistic gymnast. She was 10-year member of the U.S. national gymnastics team, the 1994 U.S. all-around senior National Champion, a three-time Olympian, a World Championships silver medalist and a member of the gold-medal winning "Magnificent Seven" at the 1996 Summer Olympics. Dawes is also notable as being the first African-American woman to win an individual Olympic medal in artistic gymnastics, and the first black person of any nationality or gender to win an Olympic gold medal in gymnastics.^[1] She is also one of only three female American gymnasts, along with Muriel Grossfeld and Linda Metheny-Mulvihill, to compete in three Olympics and was part of three Olympic medal-winning teams: Barcelona 1992 (bronze), Atlanta 1996 (gold), and Sydney 2000 (bronze). Dawes is the first female gymnast to be a part of three Olympic medal winning teams since Lyudmila Turischeva won gold in Mexico City (1968), Munich (1972), and Montreal (1976), Polina Astakhova and Larisa Latynina won gold in Melbourne (1956), Rome (1960) and Tokyo (1964), Věra Čáslavská won silver in Rome (1960), Tokyo (1964) and Mexico City (1968). Since Dawes, Svetlana Khorkina is the only gymnast to accomplish this feat, winning silver in Atlanta (1996) and Sydney (2000), and bronze in Athens (2004).
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dominique_Dawes

She is more on the athletic side, but none the less in great shape.

See ya later!

I ain't done yet

Hi there,

I decided to blog a bit more to make up for lost time. Lately I have not been drinking my 64-100 oz of water a day like I used to. It seems like the less I eat, the less water I want to drink. But I know that is dangerous not to drink at least 8 cups of water, especially when on a diet. I wonder if that is why my weight isn't budging lately.
My boyfriend is skinny. And he likes to eat. Kind of pisses me off that he can eat whatever he wants and can remain skinny. I mean he has bones that I want to see on myself. He's got the hipbones, buttbones, etc. I am happy he is slender and not super skinny cause I actually don't find skinny guys attractive. Fat ones, either. Mean I know, but hell I don't find myself attractive with this added weight. Which brings me to a point.
The BF was acting funny three months ago and I called him on it. He denied and said that everything is OK. I had been bringing up how I have gained weight (school, work, depression) and asked him was it a problem. He denied everything. So when my women's intuition became too much I check his phone. Find a text from him to a girl about wanting to talk. I confront him on this and he says he needed female opinion on a question he is scared to ask me. It takes him 20 minutes to finally say, I love you and I don't want to be "that guy". The guy who thinks their girlfriend is not as sexy since she gained weight. I get pissed off cause 1) Brought up the topic-more than once- asked for honesty-didn't get it, 2) he asked his friends for advice, they all say get over it, talk to her, etc but he still 3) asks advice about this topic from someone he used to date. Well long story short: I throw things, he cries (wow he showed emotion finally), I don't talk to him for a week.
He says that he wanted more female advice about it and that he loves me know matter what but didn't know why he was feeling this way. He has been more open since this incident and I proceed to spend his money to make up for the emotional bruise I have gotten over it. I don't like having to meet his friends that he talked about me to. It makes me feel more self- conscious than I already am.
All of this to say that women accept flaws more that men and doesn't let that affect our psyche. But men can't get over flaws without freaking out. More about this topic later.

WillPower

Soooo,

I finally bought my treadmill. I calculated on some ways to sacrifice and not buy certain things and put it on credit. It should be here next week! I can't wait and need you all to help motivate me to use it everyday. You heard me "everyday".
I made a breakthrough today. I was in the candy aisle at a store and started to put candy in my cart. Then some very cute sales guy started talking to me and we got interrupted by a customer. So I quickly left that aisle picking up some sugary crap. It seems that this guy's hotness made me crave sweet stuff when I haven't had that craving in weeks. Wow! Anyway when I went to pay for my stuff I told the cashier that I didn't want the candy and gave it to her. So yah me!
Weighed myself today... a big disappointment since I have been restricting and exercising. Maybe it is delayed. I will check tomorrow. I know I shouldn't weigh myself everyday but it is such a hard habit to break.
Either way I am proud of myself for putting that candy down.

Later chicas :)

Treadmill wishes, walking outside for free money

I want need a treadmill so bad. With the days getting colder walking outside is not that appealing to me, especially since I only have time to do it in the cold morning or cold evening during the week. With a treadmill I could jog and walk twice a day. I sometimes feel that saying "if I only had a treadmill", is an excuse. But I know it is not. I definately needed one last night. Went out with the BF for authentic Mexican food. I didn't eat the chips and salsa (yah me) and I didn't order anything fried. But I don't think my body is used to anything high calorie anymore. I have been aiming to eating 300 calories or less each meal. I felt kind of crappy when I got home.
I have been doing well with 1000 calories and walking as much as I can, but I know I need to do more. I have always had a sluggish metabolism and I need to whip it into shape.

I hope everyone has a great weekend and remember to be strong and rewards will come.

A new beginning

Hi all,

I will be blogging periodically to help motivate myself and maybe motivate others. I am in school and have a full time job so I am pretty busy, but will try to update as much as possible.

I love to exercise but when I get injured or sick it takes me a long time to get back into the groove. Which is how I gained so much weight.

Height: 5'2
Starting Weight: 213
Highest Weight: 217
Lowest Weight: 130
UGW: 100
The way I calculated things I should be my UGW in a year and hope to run a 5K by then.