I ain't done yet

Hi there,

I decided to blog a bit more to make up for lost time. Lately I have not been drinking my 64-100 oz of water a day like I used to. It seems like the less I eat, the less water I want to drink. But I know that is dangerous not to drink at least 8 cups of water, especially when on a diet. I wonder if that is why my weight isn't budging lately.
My boyfriend is skinny. And he likes to eat. Kind of pisses me off that he can eat whatever he wants and can remain skinny. I mean he has bones that I want to see on myself. He's got the hipbones, buttbones, etc. I am happy he is slender and not super skinny cause I actually don't find skinny guys attractive. Fat ones, either. Mean I know, but hell I don't find myself attractive with this added weight. Which brings me to a point.
The BF was acting funny three months ago and I called him on it. He denied and said that everything is OK. I had been bringing up how I have gained weight (school, work, depression) and asked him was it a problem. He denied everything. So when my women's intuition became too much I check his phone. Find a text from him to a girl about wanting to talk. I confront him on this and he says he needed female opinion on a question he is scared to ask me. It takes him 20 minutes to finally say, I love you and I don't want to be "that guy". The guy who thinks their girlfriend is not as sexy since she gained weight. I get pissed off cause 1) Brought up the topic-more than once- asked for honesty-didn't get it, 2) he asked his friends for advice, they all say get over it, talk to her, etc but he still 3) asks advice about this topic from someone he used to date. Well long story short: I throw things, he cries (wow he showed emotion finally), I don't talk to him for a week.
He says that he wanted more female advice about it and that he loves me know matter what but didn't know why he was feeling this way. He has been more open since this incident and I proceed to spend his money to make up for the emotional bruise I have gotten over it. I don't like having to meet his friends that he talked about me to. It makes me feel more self- conscious than I already am.
All of this to say that women accept flaws more that men and doesn't let that affect our psyche. But men can't get over flaws without freaking out. More about this topic later.